#also why are we talking about ourselves in third person

[garlic-and-cloves]

I think I might have OCD.

I really have no other explanation for any of this. But I'm also already diagnosed with plenty of other things and I can't possibly have everything in the DSM so I feel like I'm making it up. But every time I research anything about it I just feel like it matches and I have no reason against it.

I have been told by at this point 6 unrelated people that I should consider it and I feel like that's a little ridiculous for something I've been denying any possibility of having. And I'm able to function much better than my aunt so I must be fine right? (Except I know I'm not functioning and it's genetic)

And I know in the end it doesn't really matter and I'm definitely overthinking this and have no reason for the panic attack but if it is OCD I think I need to change the way I'm engaging with this (maybe I do anyway). Maybe some of these things I'm doing are actually harmful to me (I know they are). Now I'm not sure what to do about that but it definitely can't be blamed on not liking changes in routine when how did it get this way in the first place

[imagitory]

I've never been more heartbroken in my life.

I was gobsmacked in 2016, don't get me wrong. I was devastated and frightened and shaken beyond words. I even had to go behind a wall and collect myself at one point that horrible November 9th, 2016, after colliding with a man wearing a red MAGA hat at work. A good chunk of us at work talked amongst ourselves about it, offering each other comfort.

But this? This is different. I could imagine dumb people making excuses for voting for Trump in 2016 -- saying that they thought a businessman would be good for the economy, saying that they wanted someone who wasn't a "Washington insider" like Hilary Clinton. Sure, it was stupid, but people can be stupid. Quite frankly, a lot of people are stupid, in this country and otherwise.

But now? Anyone who voted for Trump now has voted for a man who not only rounded up immigrants and put them in concentration camps separated from their families; bungled the response to COVID-19 so badly that the American death toll easily surpassed every other country on Earth; has poisoned the Supreme Court to the extent that they overturned years of precedence with Roe V. Wade and has basically given Trump cart-blanche to do whatever he wants while he's president; was the first president in history to refuse to concede on election day; was impeached for crimes in office not once but TWICE; was instrumental to and passionately supportive of the full-on attempted coup at the U.S. capitol on January 6, 2021 that could've very easily resulted in the deaths of his own Vice President and multiple members of Congress; has spoken glowingly of despots like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un and even said he will be "a dictator on day one" if elected again; has both used slogans originally used by modern American Neo-Nazis ("America First") and purportedly told one of his ex-subordinates that he wanted generals like Adolf Hitler's...but also has by the day proven more and more just how mentally inept, vindictive, and mean-spirited he truly is.

And unlike in his previous races, Trump is ahead in the popular vote too. We can't just blame this on the electoral college being antiquated and gerrymandered AF like in the Trump-Clinton or Bush-Gore elections. Even if all of the third-party voters in this country had grown a bloody brain cell and voted for Harris so as to show solidarity against Trump and his form of American fascism, it still somehow wouldn't be enough. We could potentially blame this on lower voter turn-out -- according to what I'm seeing so far, even with all the votes not counted in this race yet, it looks like there were far less votes cast this election than in the last one, though likely still more than the 2016 race. But even so, I don't think that's the only problem. I truly think there were just a lot of people who turned out en-masse to vote for Trump. And all I can think in regards to those people is...

This is beyond stupidity or even selfishness. This is cruelty. This is large swaths of people deciding that they want fellow American citizens to suffer -- because in their minds, if those people suffer, that'll somehow make them happy. This is a large chunk of America saying, "yeah, you know all that crap about 'liberty and justice for all'? Screw that, I want a 'strong man' to bully people different from me for my own amusement." And -- perhaps -- there's also an element of feeling like their vote doesn't really have any consequences for them, so why should they care if the man they voted for is a god-awful person? It's not like that man will hurt them.

I had hoped. I had hoped, seeing the outpouring of support from liberals, independents, and conservatives for Harris/Walz. I'd hoped, seeing how many ex-Trump appointees were standing up against him, how much people were shouting their disdain for Project 2025 from the rooftops, and how many women were protesting in the face of Roe V. Wade being overturned. I truly had started to hope that America would prove we'd grown beyond our country's own original sin -- how our United States preached freedom for all while still being built on the backs of slaves and refusing to grant a vote to over half their population -- by electing a smart, successful, charismatic woman of color who sees our country as great in potential and wants us to pursue that potential as our first female president, rather than backtracking all the slow progress we've made over the last 200+ years.

But now...my hope has faded. My heart is in pieces and the world is so dark. I hardly know how I'll function at work tomorrow, even if I know somehow, I have to try. We'll all have to stand somehow. Somehow, someway...we'll have to find the strength. We'll have to stand, and we'll have to keep moving forward, even when it feels like we're a Little Mermaid walking on knives.

We'll have to stand.

[synchodai]

What's the appeal of Gortash?

Look, I've seen this question floating around, and I understand, man, I do. I'm not going to try to convince the naysayers by going on about his traumatic backstory, greaseball charm, or his chemistry with the Dark Urge. No, this is BG3 — everyone has trauma and a hot bod.

I'll be speaking only for myself and for my own tastes here, and the reason why I'm personally obsessed with this man is because he is my favorite kind of antagonist: an ideological antagonist.

ideas as a weapon

The Chosen of the Dead Three are all threats, but they administer violence through markedly different ways. Military threat, bodily threat, ideological threat — the third one so mundane and subtle that sometimes it doesn't even register as violence.

Ketheric (and his army) is your collective antagonist which threatens society as a whole and whom the factions must band together to defeat. Orin (and her dopplegangers) is your personal antagonist which undermines the bonds and trust between companions. But Gortash's deal is challenging your perception and beliefs of how things should be. The lure of his Steel Watch is that people are willing to sacrifice personal freedoms for security — a balance you and your companions struggle with throughout the game yourselves.

There's a reason why he's the one who controls the Baldur's Mouth and why he's all anyone can talk about in this goddamn city. Mindflayers operate on ideas, and so does he, except his psionics is ideology.

Gortash is the reason why the cult is called the Absolute, because his is the philosophy of absolutism.

the absolute and absolutism

Absolutism (not to be confused with moral absolutism) is the political movement that rose in response to the decline of the monarchy as a ruling institution. In general, absolutists believed the ideal society was one of complete unity that followed a single, central power (usually in the form of an absolute monarchy).

Guess who also had that belief? Well, if we read Gort's political manifesto...

What is progress? Progress is the movement of society and culture towards a state of collective unity. Without unity, mortals, each with their own individual agenda, blunder against each other, causing friction, conflict, war. Unity - peace and prosperity - is achieved when the collective follows a single agenda, that of one superior person. Runaway egocentrism, that urge often miscalled 'free will', is the one true enemy of Unity. Free will must be eliminated. Control of the brain is the key. The Netherese tadpole is the perfect tool. Tadpoled, the brain is freed of egocentrism to follow the agenda of Unity. The tadpoled brain is a happy brain. There is no conflict, except against the enemies of Unity. And the brain is all you need - once freed from its agendas of 'free will', it can also be freed from the frailities of the mortal form. The brain can live forever in a steel body, or even better, control that body from afar. This is progress. This is the Ultimate State. - Lord Enver Gortash

Thomas Hobbes, daddy father of political philosophy, believed power should be concentrated in a being known as the "leviathan." Hobbes, of course, was using them term "leviathan" as a metaphor for an ideal government institution that holds all the power, but in Baldur's Gate 3's case, the leviathan manifests physically in the form of the Netherbrain and whoever gets to control it.

There are a lot of words people use to describe this political philosophy: authoritarianism, fascism, the Grand Design, pick your poison. Tyranny is a great catch-all word for it. The world of absolutism and the cult of the Absolute is where everyone is powerful and immortal with their mindflayer abilities and steel bodies, but ultimately subservient to the state. Basically, it's the sacrifice of 'free will' in exchange for power.

we are all in danger of agreeing with gortash

Throughout the game, we are constantly being challenged with how much of ourselves we are willing to surrender in exchange for power and a purpose. Gale loses his personality and ideals in exchange for godhood. Shadowheart loses her memory and the possibility of love to be the leader of Shar's church. Wyll gives his soul to Mizora to save Baldur's Gate. Astarion gives up his remaining humanity to become a Vampire Ascendant. Lae'zel, when siding with Vlaakith, ultimately gets gladly consumed by her, fuel for the Gith queen's rise to power. And Karlach values her freedom and right to be an individual so much that she's willing to die for it.

In some ways, there's something even revolutionary about Gortash's desire to supplant the gods and replace them with a mortal human being. After all, he doesn't want to give power to Bane. He wants the absolute authority to be himself (and the Dark Urge). If he succeeds, it'll be the ultimate underdog story of a slave who crawled through Hell and became a god through his own resourcesfulness.

See, sacrifice for the good of a collective purpose is not necessarily a bad thing. But to give away all your autonomy to an authority is to be consumed, and some people want to be consumed, to lose themselves to be part of something bigger. There's a reason why Tyranny falls under the domain of death — because tyranny and its many faces (facism, authoritarianism, etc.) demand death of the self.

And it IS supposed to be tempting, to shut off our brains and be possessed by someone more competent in a time where everything is scary and complicated. In times of crisis, society's historical inclination has been to reach for dictatorship and martial law. This is ultimately the appeal of gods and authoritarians. We want someone to make the right decisions for us because we fear failure and pain more than we value autonomy.

But if there's anything BG3 stands for as a game and makes it a cut above the rest, it's allowing players to make decisions — especially objectively wrong ones.

a single point of failure

The greatest irony of Enver Gortash as a character is that he's supposed to be this genius inventor but makes the most rookie mistake any technical designer can make — all his plans have a single point of failure. He engineered it to be that way. The Steel Watch has one (1) place where they all operate from. His office where you fight him is trapped to the nines but has one entrance and exit. All his key hostages are kept in one location. The godsdamned netherbrain becomes a single point of failure once the netherstones are reunited.

That is the game showing us why absolutism absolutely suuuuuuuucks as a political doctrine. Having all the power does not in fact make you impervious — if anything, it only magnifies the precarity of your situation. True security and safety is found in actually trusting others and spreading around the responsibility instead of betting it all on big netherbrain.

As a craftsman, I think Gortash himself realized this. The teachings of Tyranny and his political manifesto say one thing, but his actions and reality say another. He knows the he and the Dark Urge do not share a united vision, but he still offers them an equal alliance. Sharing equal power is not only necessary for checks and balances, it's also something that he personally misses.

Because at the end of the day, this megalomaniac who was so narcissistic to think that he should be making all the decisions for everyone else is just a human man. And it's not power or unity or perfection or security that motivates humanity, it's our social bonds. He is the way he is because something about his parents, just like everyone else. All of the Dead Three Chosen are like this. They do what they do because of they are afflicted with the all-too human condition known as "wanting community recognition."

To quote another fantasy franchise filled with evil people: "We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy."

conclusion

I like Gortash because I think he represents the shadow of this game's themes on the value of free will and equating vulnerability to true strength. The bigger they are, the easier to score a critical hit and all that. But spread out your power and trust in others, and suddenly everyone is covering everyone's weaknesses and if one falls, the structure still stands.

The reason I'm so obsessed with the Dead Three villains is because they're all walking contradictions. The Chosen of Necromancy brings his daughter back to life as a healthy and whole living being. The Chosen of Murder fails to murder the one person their god actually wants them to murder. And the Chosen of Tyranny is willing to share their power. These contradictions are where we find these glimpses of humanity — flawed and complex individuals instead of simple monsters that represent one evil.

Do you like political philosophy references and Enver Gortash? May I then interest you in my fic which is basically my manifesto on the Dead Three Chosen and their respective belief systems?

Now that I've said my personal piece about politics, please don't let that overshadow the fact that Enver Gortash does indeed have nice tits. I wholeheartedly agree that should be the pervading discourse about him.

[halloween4life]

The Orange Side is going to represent Impulsiveness and the rest of y'all are wrong: a thread

For obvious reasons the title of this post is a joke. But anyway, hi hello. I wanted to talk about my theory of what I think the Orange Side is gonna be! Now this post is going to be looong so for the sake of everyone it's going to be put under the cut.

Disclaimers that I want to get out of the way now: I have just recently re-entered the fandom and I haven't been into Sanders Sides in years. I'm not a Patreon supporter nor do I have Twitter so I lack any information that may have been revealed there. Also I am still in the process of rewatching the series. So as of now, I don't really have a complete understanding of the series. I apologize if I get anything wrong, and if any of this puts you off, totally valid.

Oh also, general spoilers for like, anything Sanders Sides related but specifically Working Through Intrusive Thoughts (if you still somehow have not watched it). Honestly I recommend watching it before reading this as a refresher, because most of this theory is based around/supported by that video. It's like, really the only foundation for this theory as I don't really delve much into the other episodes.

First things first, I am going to lay down some rules on what the Orange Side could represent:

1) The concept needs to in some way be the "opposite" of logic. Realistically this doesn't have to be the case in the series, but based on how the other Dark Sides function, it makes the most sense for now.

2) The concept needs to be generally considered negative for them to be considered a Dark Side.

3) Whatever they represent needs to REALISTICALLY make sense as an aspect of C! Thomas' identity. I think a lot of people forget that the Sides are that, Sides of a whole person. So I tried my best to make that work.

Now, with that out of the way,,,I'm going to "debunk" some theories first. Yes sorry there is a lot of set up to this theory, but I feel like it's important. Also, reminder, if you believe in either of the theories I am going to debunk, that is TOTALLY 100% VALID! I'm just going to discuss why I don't think they work, so this is all just my opinion!

Theory 1: The Orange Side represents Rage

I'm pretty sure this is the most popular theory right now, and I know a lot of people also disagree with it. I think this one mostly came about because our only real evidence of the Orange Side is through Logan's anger fueled outbursts in WTIT and Learning New Things About Ourselves. While I definitely understand this line of thinking, I don't think it's right.

First and foremost, it breaks the third rule set up earlier. Again, all these characters are facets of Thomas' personality. And from what we've seen of him, it just doesn't make sense with his personality. Now, again, this could obviously be different in the series, we could learn that this is actually his rage and he's just been repressing it, but I doubt that'll be the case. (Also I feel like this could break the first rule but I don't know how to explain why).

Secondly, and I just think that rage in and of itself is just, way too specific of a concept to be represented by a side. This kinda works in tandem with the first point, since again, it just doesn't seem that large of an aspect of Thomas that it would be represented by its own side. As well, all the other sides represent either much larger concepts or multiple at a time. For instance, Logan, Patton, and Roman represent logic, morality, and (good) creativity respectively. While Virgil and Janus do represent anxiety and deceit, those titles are rather reductive, as they also represent vigilance and self-preservation respectively. (Really I think we need to talk more about the fact that Janus is canonically Thomas' self-preservation but is really only viewed as "deceit"). Remus is a fun case as although he is viewed as "intrusive thoughts", he as a whole represents the bad side of creativity. TLDR: Rage is too specific a concept to be its own side.

Theory 2: The Orange Side Represents Emotion

Okay I'm going to be honest, I've only seen one person on here with this theory (and for the life of me I can't remember their name). But I just want to say that if you are reading this, this isn't me calling you out or anything (honestly I really agreed with your theory until I came up with this one). If I remember correctly, this theory is more built on the Orange Side being an opposite to logic, and how emotions tend to cloud logic, similar to the reasoning for rage.

I think this theory most obviously breaks rule 2. Now emotions as a whole do have the capacity to be bad, I think the concept of just emotion is not generally considered bad. Definitely not enough for it to be considered along with the Dark Sides. It's simply too big of a concept to be either "good" or "bad".

On that subject, I think this theory has a similar issue to the rage theory, but in the opposite direction. While rage was too specific, emotions are waaay too broad to just be one singular side. Especially given that all of the current sides have some sway over Thomas' emotions. And it's also possible that this side would be considered too close to Patton. While yes, it is not explicitly stated that he is in charge of Thomas' emotions, he definitely has the most sway over them. Ultimately, I think this theory is just too vague to work.

Okay, now with that all out of the way, let's get into my actual theory. So,

Why do I think the Orange Side will represent Impulsiveness?

I'm going to start this off by comparing my claims to the rules I made up. Because tbh, that's how I came to the conclusion in the first place before I started finding evidence to support it (but isn't that how all good hypotheses work?)

1) Does impulsiveness act as a counter to logic?

According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, Impulsive is defined as "prone to sudden illogical changes of mind, ideas, or actions". Now I was gonna go on a big explanation of how they are opposites but it literally says illogical in the definition. So uh, yayy 🎉🎉🎉

2) Is impulsiveness seen as a negative thing?

Now, truthfully there is no way for me to prove that impulsiveness is either "good" or "bad". That being said, I feel like a lot of people generally view impulsiveness as a bad thing. While in small amounts it can be seen as good and fun, the more frequently you engage in impulsive behaviors, the more destructive it can become. Often leading to bad decision making, i.e. avoiding work, making big financial decisions without much thought, and generally just doing what you want over what may be important.

3) Does this fit within Thomas' personality?

Yes. It has been shown time and time again that Thomas has an issue with his impulsive behaviors. Oftentimes manifesting in him avoiding chores and general self-care in favor of doing something easy or entertaining. The most clear example of this being the video "Growing Up." While yes, most of these decisions are made due to Patton, it's not entirely uncommon for the sides to be affected or swayed by the others. (Also if I'm being honest, I don't think it entirely fair to analyze the earlier episodes with the same critical lens as the later ones, it's definitely not fair to Thomas (the real Thomas) to criticize the early episodes for not perfectly aligning with later lore).

Now, finally, we can get into some evidence to support all these claims I'm making. First things first, as of right now Logan and the Orange Side are one in the same. We haven't been given any proof that they are at least physically different beings (unless you want to count the orange eyes in the Sanders Sides anime intro parody). So all of our evidence is just Logan acting really out of character. So, where does Logan act impulsively?

Our first major incident of this (I'm pretty sure) is in the episode "Learning New Things About Ourselves", specifically the scene where Roman essentially pisses him off so much that he throw's a crumpled up note card at him. Most important is his reaction afterwards, being shocked at himself.

He was basically pushed so far that he reacted without thinking (impulsively some may say? ok I'll stop, I'm sorry). Which, obviously, is EXTREMELY out of character for him. He is logic, he is supposed to think first before he acts, go through possible scenarios and decide the most favorable outcome. Yet, here he loses all control.

Our next example is less of Logan acting impulsive and more so how I believe his actions are affecting Thomas. In the episode "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts", Thomas basically spends the whole time being tormented by Remus because he can't keep his mind off of the risky text he sent Nico (I'm aroace but I'm gonna assume valid? So real?). While Logan is simultaneously trying to keep Thomas on schedule, accommodate his struggles, and accommodate Remus' actions as part of Thomas' identity. Basically, it's a lot, and when he's finally at his limit, well

Yeahhhh, a certain something makes itself known. And while Logan doesn't act particularly irrationally or impulsively in this moment (literally all he does is yell at Remus), it is what Thomas does after this outbreak that I find interesting. As immediately afterward he gets a call from Nico, inviting him out. And given the choice between what he has planned to do and needs to get done for the day, vs spending the day with Nico?

He decides suddenly to just drop everything he is doing for Nico. A rather impulsive decision if you ask me. And while yes, technically none of what Thomas was doing needed to get done that day (it was mostly chores), it was part of a plan and he promised himself to stick to it. Logan doesn't react well to any of this, both his own outburst and Thomas deciding to just leave him behind like it's nothing. And I don't think it's gonna spell anything good in the future for Logan and the rest of the gang.

So, where does that leave us now?

Well, moving a bit on to what I think is going to happen next. Obviously things are going to get worse before they get better. Logan will fall more and more into impulsive behaviors, which will only become more destructive for Thomas. As well, I think (hope, pray) that there will be some sort of team up between Logan and Remus. They're the only sides who I think could "properly" get along (I know that Janus and Remus have some sort of friendship, but it can only work so well as Janus being self-preservation can only really run counter to Remus' intrusive thoughts). Most likely they will feed into each other in a horrible cycle of "I can make him worse." I don't think that would be either of their genuine intentions, as I don't like labeling the Dark Sides and "bad", but I definitely don't think they would be good for each other. I do also think this will come about because Remus either knows or understands something about Logan that the others don't, not even Janus. As well I do hope that Logan and the Orange Side are one in the same somehow, and not just Logan being influenced.

Anyway, sorry for the insanely long post and sorry if it started to devolve towards the end. I am quite literally writing this on no hours of sleep, so give me a bit of grace. Also, another sorry if I have gotten anything wrong or if I have missed something. It has been very long since I've engaged with Sanders Sides, but I'm trying my best. Anyway, thank you for coming to my ted-talk, I hope Logan gets to commit murder in the next episode.

[muppet-elvis]

Woah mercy, how're we doin' Tumblr? I wanna properly introduce myself before we get a rockin' and a rollin':

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1) Who are you?

I am Muppet Elvis, the king of rock and roll. Some weirdos might argue "That is not Elvis! That is just... an oddly-dressed elf livehand recovered from storage", but I cannot tell a lie, I'm as true as they come.

2) Where'd you come from?

My start started on the "Muppets Classic Theater", with me and the fellas makin' some blue suedes for a swell lil' froggy shoemaker. And we've had ourselves a pretty good run in the 90's!

Though sadly, we haven't been around since that Christmas movie in 2002; we've been off hangin' in Graceland since then, I think. So this is gonna be my first time with this newfangled technology, but my dear mod is a helping me out with that.

3) How many of you are there?

It's me and two other fellas; we're like three blue swede peas in a pod. They'll talk in green (I am that there second muppet king, otherwise a known as Dell, uh-huh.) and orange (I'm the third Elvis, and ya can call me Ciel, humina humina!) whenever they are a chattin' on this blog!

(And by the way, as for me myself, I suppose ya can call me by the name "Mel" if ya want to.)

4) If you're the leader of the three, are you the king of kings?

You're dang right I am!

5) I thought all Elvises said some variation of "woah mama". Why do you say "woah mercy"?

Well, I've been saying that since the "Muppets Classic Theater". I just don't wanna fix what ain't broke. Besides, it sets me apart from other Elvii, humina humina. I even have my own e-mote! 2:]

6) Just what are these tags you're using?

I'm glad you asked! Lemme explain 'em real quickly:

#woah mercy - These are reblogs for just about anythin', includin' talks with other blogs! You'll find a lot of different posts featurin' things I rock with, includin' good food, beautiful art, and overall lots of love and positivity.

#muppet elvis speaks - Posts that come from the king himself (a.k.a. me) are tagged under this here label!

#muppet elvis answers - Anytime one of ya lovely people sends me an ask, I'll put it under this tag!

#muppets: into the elvisverse - This here tag's for anytime I interact with another Elvis blog. There's just so many of us out there and I'd like to befriend as many as I can! I'll even put mentions under this one.

(mod note: not all posts have been tagged, especially some of the older posts, so i apologize if there's a post you're looking for and it isn't under these tags - we will fix that.)

7) Can I be hateful on this blog? I have such a nasty take on-

Oh now just hold on a Memphis minute; that sort of hatefulness isn't welcome here! No transphobia, no racism, no ableism, no sexism, no homophobia, none of any of that! The kings will not kneel to no hatred, our hearts are deep in the freedom of rock and roll.

So get outta here and don't make me use my karate on ya; I give a mean Round-the-Jailhouse kick!

8) Can I give you my devotion?

Mercy, a dove ocean sounds like too many feathers for me! I couldn't handle all that. However, I would be happy to have people come and rock along with us.

Me and the fellas are also a big fan of fan art or any other fan things ya make! It's a definitely not required; we've just had people askin' before, so I figure it'd be good to mention you have our approval, uh-huh. I personally do love artists and their work overall, so I'm here to express my gratitude to 'em whenever I can!

Just know this is a side blog, so any of that kind of feedback from me will be comin' from the mod's blog.

(mod note: i write in small purple when i write as the mod. if you know who this is, then you know. i should also mention that i am an adult, so we might make more "mature" jokes every now and then. however, in typical classic Muppets fashion, this blog is intended to be for everyone.)

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That's everythin' important. Any other questions, ya can always lay it on me in the inbox. And a please, check out mod's Kandi store, if y'd like a lil' personal keepsake from this here blog. Thank ya, thank ya very much for readin', thank ya. 👉👉

[savagegardensprogramming]

The Purpose of Language in General

I found that Language has three important uses is our every day life.

(1) The first one is obvious. Language as means of communication. We use language to communicate our ideas and desires to other people. duh!

(2) The second one is more subtle but also just as important. Language as means of articulating thought. We use language to construct and hold ideas together. Even if we do not like talking to people, language is incredibly important.

Ferrel children are children who grew in the wild with no access to human upbringing. These children are mentally handicapped and I believe this is largely due to lack of language. 10,000 years ago our brains where primitive but not very different from today. My personal hunch is that crude language skills leads to crude thinking. Thats how we got by in those days. And that is the difference between us modern humans and humans 10,000 years ago.

There are people who do not have an inner monologue yet they are very intelligent. I would bet that these people still have some sort of mechanism similar to language that allows them to articulate thought. Its based on other brain machinery such as vision and emotion.

(3) The third one was pointed out by a colleague. Language is a window to outside observation. We don't have to be involved in the conversation to understand what other people are talking about and learn from them. Documentation important also. History is preserved by written language. Only after written language did humanity started to thrive.

Sooo, what does language have to do with computer science, you may wonder. Well, programming languages are real languages. My claim is that programming is a communications problem. I see the machine as an alien species from ourselves. And the task at hand is to find a way to communicate to them and inform them what we want them to do.

(1) The first aspect (the obvious one) of programming languages is to do just that. We need to communicate to the machine what we want them to do.

(2) The second aspect (the more subtle one but just as important) of programming languages is for our sake to understand what we are telling the machine. We use programming languages to articulate ideas in our head before typing it on the computer. That is why we insist and persist on using JSON and XML to store data. Even thou those formats are incredibly inefficient from the view point of a machine.

(3) The third aspect of programming languages is a form of documentation. Other people can understand what the programmer is telling the machine. Its why open source is popular among programmers.

[football-and-fanfics]

What Happened Next - Dominik Szoboszlai

Who: Dominik Szoboszlai Request: I’d like an imagine where a girl has had a one night stand with with a guy she meets in a club then a couple of days later starts her new job at the Liverpool training centre just to discover her ONS was Dominik and just how shy, cute and embarrassed they both are. Requested by: @moondancer146 Word count: 710 Warnings: none

It had been a drunken night, a very drunken night, a few weeks ago. After a night out partying you had ended up in bed with some guy you had met at the night club. You barely remembered what he looked like, let alone you still knew his name or had his telephone number. All you you did remember was that it had been a good night, with plenty of fun and pleasure in bed, and that it was all over before you had even fully sobered up.

A few times you still wondered who this handsome stranger was, because you still remembered he had been handsome, and somehow you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew him from somewhere.

But your attention shifted when you were about to start your new job at Liverpool FC. You wanted to make a good impression at this new job, so you made sure you looked well, dressed well, and were well rested. This also meant: no going out to parties and no alcohol for a while. And amidst all that you found that the memories of your one night stand got pushed to the back of your mind.

That was, until the third day of you working at LFC, when everything came crashing back.

As part of the media team, you would be working in close relation to the first team players, and a colleague introduced you to them one by one. You were shown around the cafeteria where the team sat for lunch, shaking hands and introducing yourself. Suddenly you found yourself face to face with an attractive, dark-haired man, and you instantly knew: he was your mystery one night stand from a few weeks back. And from the startled look on his face, he definitely knew who you were, too.

"Hi." He held out his hand to you. "I'm Dominik." You stammered your own name, blushing as you shook his hand. "Nice to meet you," Dominik said politely, even though he was fully aware that the both of you had already thoroughly met. Underneath the stubble of his beard, you saw the redness of his cheeks, too.

Dominik chuckled nervously, not knowing how to hold himself in this current situation. "I believe we have an appointment for an interview this afternoon?" He finally spoke. "Yes." You confirmed, glad he had found a topic you could safely talk about. "I'll see you then."

---

Dominik showed up right on time for your appointment with him that afternoon. You were glad you were allowed to do this interview by yourself, which meant you could also have a private chat with Dominik about this situation you suddenly both found yourselves in.

Dominik closed the door behind him and turned around to face you almost as if in slow-motion, clearly putting off the moment he would have to face you for as long as he possibly could.

"This is quite a predicament we find ourselves in." Dominik smiled shyly as he finally faced you. He looked ill at ease, slightly embarrassed even, and found it hard to meet your eye. "Quite so," you mumbled, equally embarrassed by this whole situation.

An uncomfortable silence fell. Several times you wanted to speak, but didn't, but in the end Dominik was the one to voice his thoughts first.

"Why don't we start over?" He sounded hopeful. You shrugged, confused. "What do you mean?" "Well." Dominik smiled with more confidence now. "As it looks like we are going to have to work together, why don't we get to know each other a little better?" "We slept together." You scoffed. "How much better would you like to get to know me?"

Dominik chuckled. "That was a drunken night, but, if you ask me, not a mistake. You seem like a wonderful person, and.... even though I've seen a lot of you already, I know very little about you. And I would like to change that." "Oh..." You hadn't expected him to say something like this, and you were lost for words. "Please, we'll take it slow. Maybe join me for lunch tomorrow." Dominik's eyes twinkled with the hope for a positive answer from you. You hesitated for maybe a second before you smiled shyly, but confidently. "I would love that."

Writing masterlist

[rrezshifts]

𝓶𝙚 𝙖𝖓𝙙 𝙨p𝙚𝙣c𝙚𝙧

i𝙣 𝙢y ꜱᴍᴏꜱʜ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ

meet cute

On my third day doing unofficial work for smosh and their skits, I was talking with Courtney and Shayne when Spencer was first introduced to me. He attempted to make me laugh and cracked a joke that absolutely bombed. I began laughing at the fact it did which resolved the tension he felt from that moment. The four of us continued to talk until Shayne and Court ended up leaving for work responsibilities that left me and Spencer alone together. We got to know each other pretty well, so I ended up asking him if he was going to be at the office the next day and if he wanted to show me around.

first impressions

When he was first introduced to me I thought he was a bit cute. Then after his first attempt at a joke i found him endearing. I was attracted (not necessarily in a romantic sense) to his humor and his looks from the first time we met. Spencer was intrigued by how I carried myself when we first met. That’s why he told that joke that crashed and burned the first time we met. He wanted to draw me in… in a sense, Though I wouldn’t say that he was fully conscious of that being the reason when he did it.

coming back

After my time helping smosh with skits came to an end after a few months in 2021. Me and Spencer lost contact. We had never gotten each others contact information, which we would both kick ourselves for a while after. When I officially joined smosh as a cast member, Spencer was one of the things on my mind, hoping I’d have a friend in him still. Courtney had told me he still worked there, and she was coincidentally also the person to let him know that I was officially hired. My first day we had made eye contact during the morning meeting where I was officially introduced. We did end up losing each other when the meeting ended. But as things calmed down, I had spotted him and he was already looking (staring) at me, so I went up to him and we began to catch up. Towards the end end of our conversation he asked if I would want to eat lunch with him later that day like we used to and catch up some more. Which was an invitation I gladly accepted.

pre-dating q&a

.ᐣ How do you two show affection?

.ᐟ We both tend to show our affection through actions rather than words, but that doesn’t mean we don’t show our affection both ways.

.ᐣ How often are you physically affectionate?

.ᐟ We are physically affectionate somewhat often. most of the time it’s leaning on each other when we laugh, leaning on each other for absolutely no reason, or resting a hand on the other.

.ᐣ Do you two borrow or lend each other clothing?

.ᐟ Not too much. I do it the most, but the most i’ll do it is when I borrow a jacket to cover my inappropriate shirt and forget to give it back (because he doesn’t say anything) or when I borrow a hat after complaining about my hair or express my want to veil.

.ᐣ Are either of you the type to steal food from the other?

.ᐟ Yes. and i’m the one to do it the most and he just let’s it happen. He’s more than happy to let me eat off his plate!

.ᐣ Have you guys cried in front of each other?

.ᐟ I have many times, him less so, though it’s still more than a few times. He’s good at comforting. and I try my best to comfort, but he says that the way I comfort works for him.

feelings develop

Both Spencer and I had the tiniest inklings of what could be romantic feelings from the around the time we first met in 2021 that we brushed off for our own reasons. Spencer because he doubted what he was feeling was important or would last, and me because I didn’t want to think about that possibility too much. After we became friends again when I officially joined Smosh in early 2023, those tiny inklings didn’t really go away but we both ignored them because of how miniscule they felt to us. It wasn’t until I jokingly flirted with Spencer for the first time and his visual response was a flustered and amused chuckle, that either of us realized the depth of our feelings. Later in the day after that first flirt Spencer gave time to reflecting on his feelings for me. And later that night I would sit on what happened in that moment and have my own spiral about my feelings. But after that we knew.

what keeps us apart

After a year of “playfully” flirting with each other it gets to a point where you can kind of feel when that flirting shifts to something more serious and both of us can feel something more is there behind the shit pick up lines and innuendos. But to both of us it still felt hard to believe, as well as we just didn’t really want to go out our way to justify it when we were already so comfortable with where we were. So while we could do more and we could’ve gotten together faster. It just felt risky and unnecessary.

other people’s opinions

Most of our coworkers could sense when certain flirtatious comments had a more serious air to them but they said nothing. They would smile and laugh when they found it amusing, which was often. But a lot of Smosh was just… “We’re gonna let this play out, this has nothing to do with us.” They never really got annoyed by the fact we didn’t realize, because again none of their business, and it was entertaining at the least. While they weren’t annoyed, they are astounded that it went on as long as it did without going anywhere.

getting together

The morning of my birthday, Spencer had met me at my desk and gave me my gift. Which was entirely too expensive. I had gone to one of my closest coworkers (legit just my best friend that isn’t Spencer) and told them about the gift. Which didn’t stay between us. All day coworkers wanted to ask us about the gift. While they wouldn’t ask anything like “How much does he like you to get you that?” you can hear that question in everybodies tone when talking about it. To the point Spencer and I avoided discussing the gift all day. I had plans to go out to eat with Spencer the next day to celebrate my birthday. During dinner he had brought up what we knew our coworkers were thinking after his gift and that they weren’t exactly wrong. Asking me if I happened to feel the same way. To which i just called us fucking idiots. We talked the remainder of the dinner. And as we stood by his car in the parking lot I ended up asking him if he wanted anything to come from our talk at dinner or if it was just for shits and gigs. It was my way of messing with him because I knew he probably intended to ask me out but forgot. By midnight we were officially partners.

tropes and dynamics

♛ coworkers to best friends to lovers

♛ nerd 4 nerd

♛ “oblivious” idiots

♛ slow burn

♛ not often serious when they’re together

♛ talks too much x loves listening

♛ everyone can see it… and so can they???

♛ invisible string theory

♛ insane chemistry

© rrezshifts last updated. 03/23/2025

[sophibutt]

🎂 Birthday Yapp Post 🎂

today is our bday!! and we promised to yapp about Velvet and how her fursona and demon forms work! 💜

so the TL;DR is that Velvet as a fursona is a representation of our plurality and her forms represent our alters, and our OC Mist/Stella is a representation of another one of our alters. they all share the same crescent moon tattoos on their left shoulder, and the same piercings!

below we'll go into detail about the process behind Velvet and Mist/Stella as OCs, and show a little bit of our old art and talk about our upcoming plans :3

so Velvet as an OC started back in late october after i had started art after a 5 month art break, and i wanted to explore my identity as a furry and a therian.

i've always resonated with demons and cats, and thought of myself as both of those things! so those were the first things i experimented with c:

with the initial design i based velvet's design off my own appearance and clothing.

after designing velvet as a cat though, it didn't really feel right. there was something about it that both equally felt right and wrong, so i wanted to explore her as a red panda next since i've always felt a kinship with them c:

the red panda felt right, but it also had that same "wrong" feeling as before and i didn't really know why!

in november, we discovered we were plural and we immediately began to incorporate it into our art (or perhaps, we had always incorporated into our art, we just didn't know it)

in terms of alters, Velvet represents Sophia (the host) and Velvet (the co-host) with the demon form, and the red panda form respectively!

we wanted a few commonalities in velvet's designs, which started as the same hair, eyes and similar body type! we continue to explore velvet's two forms as the two hosts of our system, and we further refined their designs over the next few months.

we really like foxes, so we designed a lover for velvet - an OC named Auri (they/she) who isn't based on an alter in our system (to our knowledge)

at this point in velvet's design, the only commonalities between the two designs was the hair style, hair colour and the eye colour!

it was intentional, because when we first became self aware as plural we were similar in terms of personality and identity but as time went on we've become more and more different from each other but have maintained that sort of interconnected bond between us.

some more art of Velvet and Auri from december, and also our OC Ashe (they/them) who we haven't really explored since but we want to absorb her design into some future plans we have for Velvet c:

at the end of december we were drawing more and more of Velvet in her red panda form, and we were experimenting a lot with her design and incorporating some older elements from older designs.

we started drawing her with more and more piercings, and this is one of the common design elements between my alters' fursonas.

in january, we added another common design element between our alters; a crescent moon tattoo on the left shoulder. velvet still has the same eye and hair colour in both designs, but that's something that might change in the future. we also changed their body type, because both of us have different ideas for what we want our body to look like.

we've been experimenting with both of their designs with each art piece and trying to represent ourselves more accurately.

you might be wondering about the cat fursona, that is actually something we've been thinking about, we would like to represent Sophia's identity as a cat furry in the future through Velvet but it's something we're unsure how to approach!

maybe it'll be a third form? who knows! 💜

this is our alter Mist/Stella, and it's fursona. as was mentioned earlier in the post we really like bunnies, and we wanted to make a bunny fursona at one point but it didn't feel quite right.

however, Mist/Stella feels a lot of kinship with bunnies and also sees herself as one and we've been working on her design behind the scenes and we're happy to finally show off some glimpses.

she's an angelic bunny with big floppy ears and big wings. the wings can be hidden, and we wanted to sort of have this "slightly fallen" angel aesthetic to her. she's also non-verbal and we chose to represent this by drawing her without a mouth.

some of the elements of it's design are personal, but she shares the same piercings and crescent moon tattoo as both of Velvet's forms, but it's important to recognize as an individual it isn't Velvet.

What's Next?

well, as you've seen we explore our furry identity and plurality through our art and that's something we're going to keep doing. we want to refine our style, continue experimenting and keep improving!

as for actual plans, we want to eventually design that cat fursona for Sophia, and also we have other alters.. such as an angry shark with major attitude issues.

i'm open to any and all questions!! i'm more than happy to talk about my OCs :3

thank you for reading this far!! ☕💜💜

[lightofraye]

I had this as an ask--I think the person was going around a bit to get some folks' input, which doesn't bother me. But I decided to grab the full screenshots and point to the part that had sparked a conversation among some folks. I even had a couple of followers ask for my thoughts.

Now... this did come up in a little group chat amongst me and a few others. We all have thoughts on it.

Oh I should probably go to the part I'm talking about. My bad.

The tweeter--HanmeiCui--tried to capture all that was said during Radio Company's little BBQ dinner during AustinCon. And folks were intrigued by Number 8.

"Fans asked him what he misses most about Texas and he said, I don't? I am still here all the time. I am here now, I was here a few weeks ago and then a few weeks before that. My whole family's still here my mom and dad are in Dallas I often visit them."

HanmeiCui also added: "So I kind of… I didn't catch what he said after that but I got the idea that he thinks of himself more like commuting, instead of permanently moved out."

Given he doesn't have any property (none that we have to officially verify ourselves with public records anyway) in Austin or Texas as a whole... FBBC is... something. Sold, not sold, either way, the brewery won't be back. Maybe a small taproom to keep incompetent brother-in-law Gino busy after he ran FBBC into the ground. Ahem. Yes, there is a house on the FBBC property but... near as we can tell, no one lives there.

The Ackles sold the rest of their properties--the condo, the lake house, etc. Also sold the Colorado condo.

Near as any of us could tell... no properties in Texas.

It had been largely assumed that if Jensen did visit his parents, it was likely without Danneel in tow. So if Jensen does visit often as he indicated, he may just be staying at a hotel, a friend's guest room (Steve does have a place in Austin), or the like.

I mean, Papa Ackles is 75 now. (Oh dang, his father is just a couple of years older than mine.) I imagine Jensen would want to see his parents a bit more. And for a while, he had the free time to do so.

A lot of folks have interpreted the statements in a few ways. One was a kind of professional "He's trying to keep the ol' boy Texan persona" going. Another was "Maybe he's trying to get re-established back in Texas without the wife." A third was "Maybe he has a place in secret in Texas"!

My thoughts?

I want to believe it's number two--getting re-established in Texas without the wife. (Come on, you know I'm an anti-Danneel. Why are you reading my stuff?) He's certainly made a few decisions this past year and a half that have me poking at the game board of life and going "Hmm...."

Such as his Social Media changing from a mix of family and business to strictly work posts (and frustrating his stans in the process, heh); such as Danneel going completely radio silent on her IG (but still commenting on others, hmm); such as selling all of FBBC without a new location in place; buying a mansion across the darn country and so far away from most of his friends and family; to seemingly abandoning CMP to Danneel to destroy.

There's still a few things we're not seeing. A few things we're not aware of. I could speculate until my face turned blue. For now, I'm content to sit and wait and observe the chess board.

[tightjeansjavi]

his eyes still glisten

A/N: so, this is based off a real life experience that I and others have probably been on both the receiving end, and the giving end whether it was intentional or not. Healthy communication in all types of relationships is important, as are boundaries. We all make mistakes and hurt people sometimes, but the important part to remember is that as human beings, we feel. We innately want to do good, and sometimes these hard conversations need to be had. Remember to also hold compassion for yourself during a painful/stressful time. We always can do better, and be better. 🤍

~word count: 2.9k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel is feeling neglected in his current relationship with you. He breaks finally when you are no show to a planned dinner date. You and Joel talk through your feelings and set healthy boundaries in your relationship .

warnings: angst, hurt, some fluff, miss communication,minor whump, comfort, arguments, light mention of alcohol consumption, uncomfortable conversations, boundaries being set, vulnerability, just two people trying to navigate in a relationship, resolution, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

As human beings we often find ourselves being engrossed in our lives. It’s never often intentional, but it’s easy as sliced butter to inadvertently make everything about ourselves. Our jobs, our relationships, our opinions, our thoughts. When we find ourselves too focused on our own lives, we forget the important people. Our friends, our families, our partners. You’ve forgotten your Joel, and he’s not quite sure how much longer he can keep his voice silent.

It’s not that you’re a bad person, a bad partner, a bad listener, you’ve just fallen off the rails a bit. Joel knows that he too needs to work on communicating his feelings better. His problem is that he often finds himself bottling everything up for so long that it begins to chip away at his exterior, piece by piece. He’s hurting; but you don’t realize it. After being together for so long, the honeymoon stage eventually wears off. He’s always been there to listen, be the shoulder used to soak your tears in. You’ve been good to him, so good to him, but lately he’s been feeling neglected. He feels the uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. The trepidation that maybe you just don’t love him anymore.

He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, but there’s only so much he can take before he breaks.

“Sir, are you ready to order?” The waitress at yours and Joel’s favorite restaurant asks with a gentle smile. She’s stopped by the table a few times now.

Joel checks his phone with a heavy sigh. You're running twenty-minutes late, but he wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. He gives the waitress a small, polite smile as he shakes his head. “No, Just a few more minutes. My girlfriend is running late.”

“Of course sir, no problem. Would you like another beer while you wait?”

He nods tightly before she even has the chance to finish.

The minutes begin to tick by as he nurses his crisp bottle Miller Lite. He feels pathetic each time he glances at the entrance to the restaurant. His mind plays a cruel trick on him as he searches for your face in the other diners.

Where the fuck are you?

He scrolls through his messages between you and him. Searching for any context clues as to why you were late. He calls you once, twice, a third time. He can’t help the dread that begins to seep deep into his bones. His palms are clammy to the touch as he imagines the worst possible outcomes; you’re breaking up with him, you’re seeing someone else.

No. No. He chants silently to his callous thoughts.

You’re just running late.

He finishes off his second beer as he begins to feel the tears sting the corner of his eyes. He refuses to show his emotions in a public setting. He won’t break down here, like this. He fishes his wallet from his back pocket as he slaps down enough bills to cover both the two beers, and a hefty tip for his waitress.

Once he’s safely behind the wheel of his truck, he finally breaks.

You were in back to back meetings all day. You were exhausted, burnt out, frustrated to the max limit, and your dinner date with Joel was forced to the back of your mind. Subconsciously, work was beginning to become your top priority, while your relationship was pushed to the backburner. It was becoming hard to juggle it all. Your sense of work-life balance was depleting faster than you could keep up. At the end of an extinguished flame that was barely holding on by a thread, was your boyfriend. Your Joel.

It’s a moment too late when you’re smacked head on with the realization that you fucked up. Shit, what day is today? Thursday. Oh–fuck, Joel. Your own sense of dread forces its way into your system as you frantically dial his number. You barely hear your co-worker telling you to have a good evening as you rush out to your car.

He doesn’t pick up. You try again, and again, and again.

He’s purposely ignoring your calls and you can’t seem to grasp the reason as to why.

A sense of relief washes over you when you find his truck parked in the driveway of your shared home. The lights in every room are turned off. He usually keeps a few on when he knows you’re working late in the office.

He hears your keys jingle at the front door from where he’s sat at the kitchen table. He doesn’t budge. He sits there with a stoic look on his face, and his hands clasped in his lap. Remnants of his tears laid streaked across his cheekbones like two cavernous streams.

“Joel, baby? Hey, I’m so sorry about tonight. I was in back to back meetings all day, Eric was being a fucking cranky pants, again. I had to stay late to work on this project that is due at the end of day Friday.” It felt like you were talking strictly to yourself as you softly closed the front door behind you, and plopped your keys in the bowl on the hall table right next to his. “Joel?”

Your ears perked at the sound of the kitchen chair scraping across the tile as you rounded the corner. “There you are. I’m so sorry, baby. I–”

“Why couldn’t you jus’ call me, or send me a text message. I sat in the fucking restaurant waitin’ for you. I could have changed the time of the reservation had I known you would be workin’ late.” He answers flatly as his forefinger nervously begins to pick away at the skin along his cuticles. A nasty habit he can’t seem to break.

“Baby, I know. I didn’t have a ton of access to my phone, and I just got caught up in a lot of shit today. You know it wasn’t intentional, right?”

He swallows down the urge to scoff at your dismissive response as his eyes slowly focus on you. “Can you..not call me baby right now? I’m trying to have a fuckin’ conversation with you, and you’re completely dismissing what I just said.” He bites back out of pure frustration.

“Dismissing you? Joel, I just said I was fucking sorry. I told you that I was busy–”

“Yeah, I heard you. You think I'm not busy too? Yet, I still take the time out of my schedule to communicate with you, because it’s the considerate and bare minimum thing to do! You couldn’t just take five fuckin’ seconds to send me a text?!”

“Joel, I never said that you weren’t busy too? Can you please not put words in my mouth? I was in back-to-back meetings. I barely had any access to my phone! What are you insinuating here? That I'm just making up excuses?!”

“You’re tellin’ me that you had zero time to communicate to your boyfriend?! I’m not insinuating that you’re makin’ up excuses, because that’s exactly what you are doing right now. All I'm asking for is some communication. Do you know how fucking pathetic I felt waiting around for you? I just wanted to have a relaxing evening with my girlfriend. I’ve been looking forward to it all day, all week, and it’s like you don’t care.” His voice cracked at the end. He felt utterly defeated as he scrubbed a hand across his face with an exasperated sigh. He hated confrontation. He hated fighting with you. It ripped his heart to shreds to see the way your face immediately fell from his words.

When you couldn’t muster up a response, he took this as his opportunity to get everything off of his chest.

“Look, I don’t want to hurt you, darlin.’ That is quite literally the last thing I want to do, but i’m at my fuckin’ breakin’ point here. You’re the most important person in my life outside of my brother, and lately I've been feeling neglected in our relationship. I don’t think you mean it intentionally, but these past few weeks I have been hurting. I know I should have communicated this to you sooner, but lately it’s been all about you. I know you’re busy at work. I know you’re stressed and frustrated with some of your co-workers, but what about my day? What about the projects that I have been working on? What about my stress? What about..me?” His eyes glistened like two shiny marbles under the warm glow of the overhanging kitchen light.

You were taken aback. It felt as if a freight train had collided with you and smashed your body down into smithereens. You hesitantly pulled out the kitchen chair across from where he was sitting before you slowly sank down. “Joel, I had no idea that you had been feeling this way at all. I truly thought that things were okay between us. I’m sorry I didn’t read between the lines and picked up on your change of mood. I’ve just been so caught up in myself lately, that I haven’t created the time for us to just sit down and communicate like this.” You softly spoke as you clasped your hands along the smooth finish of the wooden table.

“It’s not just about reading between the lines, I have some responsibility in this as well because I can’t just expect you to know exactly how i’m feeling if i’m not taking the time to communicate it to you. I don’t want you to feel like you need to internalize everything I'm sayin’, okay? I jus’ have done a disservice to us both for keeping this shit bottled up for as long as I have.” He murmured as he moved his hands from his lap and rested them along the table.

“How..else have I been making you feel lately, Joel?”

You watched as he took a deep inhale through his nose, before exhaling shakily through his mouth. You saw his lower lip wobble with uncertainty as his still glistening eyes met yours.

“Truthfully? I jus’ feel like I ain’t as important to you anymore. Like I could just get up and leave one day and you wouldn’t even notice that I wasn’t there. I feel like I'm always there to listen, and comfort you, but you don’t do the same for me. I feel like I constantly am seeking reassurance that you actually still want to be in a relationship with me. I feel like it’s a one way street, and my car is about to spin out because i’ve lost all capability of steering. I feel obligated to tell you the things that you want to hear, in fear of hurting your feelings unintentionally. I feel like i’m constantly putting my best foot forward in the relationship, and in the same breath, I’m trying to hold it together with some expired fuckin’ glue. I feel like I've been putting my everything into us, and I'm just becoming an afterthought to you.” Admittedly, it felt good to get everything he was keeping pent up off his chest finally.

“Joel, you are so important to me. I absolutely would notice if you just weren’t here one day. I’m sorry that I have been making everything about myself lately. I promise you it’s not in an intentional, or malicious way, I've just been getting sidetracked, and I haven’t been taking the time to focus on us and our relationship. I completely understand why you are feeling this way lately, and your present feelings towards me are completely valid. I haven’t been the best partner to you, and you shouldn’t feel like our relationship is a one way street. It should be a two way street, and I regrettably have lost sight of that.”

He had half expected you to blow up in his face over his vulnerable admittance. He had his own baggage from past failed relationships, so that unhealed side of him wanted to believe that you were just complying out of spite. The healed side of him was a gentle reminder that you were human too, and that mistakes are made, and people are hurt, but the most important fact was that you were listening to him. You were validating his feelings and holding yourself accountable.

“Darlin’ it’s okay. We’ve both been shit communicators lately. I think it's something that we both need to work on, don’t you think? Earlier this evening when I saw that you called, I was purposely ignoring you because I was feeling angry, hurt, and I was feeling bitter. I know I should have just taken the call, but I also didn’t want to explode on you either. I was at that point, and before anything could be said, I needed to calm down and collect my thoughts. I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, and that’s also somethin’ i’d like to personally work on within myself.”

“Yeah, we can definitely use some touching up in that department. I need to start taking your feelings into consideration more. I’m glad that you didn’t pick up your phone, because honestly? It probably would have gotten ugly. I also think that lately I have turned you into my personal punching bag, because I'm constantly throwing my work drama onto your shoulders without even thinking about asking if you’re in the headspace to take on my emotions. I just open my mouth and spew, and I need to be more considerate on how you're feeling at that moment. I know we can always vent to each other about our frustrations, but maybe a boundary should be set?”

He slowly reached for your hands across the middle of the table as his fingers slotted through yours. He gave your hands a reassuring squeeze, followed by a soft smile.

“Yeah.” He rasped warmly, “I think it would be good for us to set some healthy boundaries. Sometimes I just don’t have the emotional capacity to take on your frustrations, especially if I am feeling particularly down on myself, or just in a general mood. With that, I really think it would be good for us to think about the positives as well y’know? Maybe we should try to not let our frustrations completely take over the vibe all the time? Cause honestly, I do find myself seeking your comfort and support when I find myself needing it most, but with that, I also need to remember that you might not have the emotional capacity to drop everything for me, and that is okay. We both have lives existing outside of the relationship, I jus’ think we gotta find that balance that works for both of us.”

You gently squeezed his hands back as you attentively listened to everything he was saying. “Yes, I agree that sometimes we both don’t have that emotional capacity for one another. Perhaps a level of consent can be established? Just a simple, ‘hey, i’m really frustrated right now, can I please tell you how i’m feeling?’ That way, it doesn’t just feel like we’re venting without checking in with one another first?”

“I think that is a great idea, darlin,’ why should consent and boundaries only be applied in the bedroom? I think it’s beneficial to have it present in all aspects of our relationship. I also would appreciate it if maybe we start having these conversations more? Maybe they can be like weekly check in’s to see how we're feeling? This might be considered to be a little lame, but it’s almost like we’re scrapbookin’ our feelings? Maybe that ain’t the right word for it, but I jus’ want our line of communication to be open, y’know?” He could feel his once tensed up nerves begin to gradually settle. His heart no longer felt like a twisted coil now that you both were communicating.

“Yes, we should make a point to sit down and make the time to have these conversations. It might be a bit tough at first, but I think we can manage it. I get what you mean with the scrapbooking comment. It almost brings a lighter element to it? Plus, we don’t have to just talk about the frustrating stuff. We can talk about all the fun and exciting aspects as well. Joel, I just want you to know that you don’t have to bottle everything up before it becomes too much for you to handle. You can always talk to me, and I can’t promise that I will always be readily available, but I will actively put in the effort to be there for you, just like you have been for me. You and I aren’t perfect. No one is. No relationship is flawless, but I think with a bit of nurturing, we’ll be alright.”

Your own eyes began to glisten as you listened to the familiar scrape of the kitchen chair along the tile as he padded over to you. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, as his own looped tenderly around your waist. He nearly crushed you to his chest from how tightly he was hugging you. He really loved you that much. You were his girl after all.

“I love you, honey. Thank you for taking the time to listen and acknowledge my feelings. I appreciate it so much, and we’re gonna be alright. We’re jus’ hittin’ a little speed bump right now, but we haven’t lost control of steering entirely.” He nuzzled his face into your cheek. You could feel the bristles in his beard gently scratch your skin as he squeezed you tightly.

“I love you so much, Joel. Thank you for being honest with me, and I promise I'll do better.”

“I know you will, baby. S’okay. We’re all just human at the end of the day.”

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[thislovintime]

Tork & Farwell in Greenwich Village, early 1960s.

“[Peter] was a funny kind of a guy. He ran around in an old sweat shirt with ‘TORK’ lettered on the back of it and always carried his five-string banjo á la Pete Seeger. He also had what was considered ‘lots of hair’ in those days. […] Peter had a way about him. I mean, he could soften up the toughest audience. If people didn’t like his serious songs, he would play his funny ones. If they didn’t like his funny ones, he would play romantic ones. If they didn’t like his romantic songs, he would sing his ‘provocative’ ones. Usually, the audience was pretty warmed up by then — but just in case it wasn’t, Peter would throw in a spate of funny gags, followed by a series of the most comic faces one could ever see. […] In spite of all his clowning, Peter was a rather serious chap. […] Peter was a loud, powerful singer (I used to call him a romp’em, stomp’em type of singer), while I was a soft ballad singer. He had enormous stage presence and I had very little. He played the banjo, I played the guitar. […] He was restless and intense, while I was calm. He loved to be with a lot of people all of the time, whereas I liked to be completely alone some of the time. And last, but not least, Peter Tork had quite a way with the girls, while I was the shy one. […] [W]e became the unfamous, unknown duo — Tork & Farwell. Where did we work? Where didn’t we work would be more like it. We worked at the Why Not?, The Basement, The Cyclops, The Third Side, The Four Winds, The Samurai, The Dragon’s Den, The Raven, The Id — and all the time we kept adding to our repertoire. […] At that time, most people who hung around the Village were pretty phony. Peter never was. He talked hip, but basically he was a real person with a lot to offer, and he never changed. He was true to his music and he was not going to stay in the Village like a lot of the guys had. One night, when we were working at The Basement, Carol Hunter, a girl I knew, was there. She was an excellent guitarist and a groovy soloist, and kind of a wild, groovy girl. We both liked her as a friend and respected her as an artist. Peter had already sung with her once or twice. ‘Hey,’ he said to me after we did couple of numbers, ‘let’s let Carol sing with us tonight.’ ‘Good idea,’ I agreed. She knew all of our tunes, so we just got up there and wailed them out together. We felt so good about Carol that we asked her to join the group, and we rechristened ourselves Tork & Farwell Plus One. During the time that we worked as a trio, we were still passing the basket, and people wouldn’t donate any more money to Tork & Farwell Plus One than they would to just plain Tork or Farwell alone. So there we were, three people getting the ‘wages’ of one performer. Needless to say, it wasn’t enough to live off of, as none of us had any other income. I was the first one to suggest that we break up. Peter was all against it, but there really wasn’t much he could do. […] He is a great guy and he was like a brother to me. I will never forget him — intense, friendly, frank, very funny and clever with an intelligence that goes beyond book learning, and an understanding that goes beyond the surface. And as for the girls — it’s a cinch that Peter still has a way with them. He’s just doing the same thing he used to do — standing up there, making faces, grinning, jumping up and down, singing and laughing and running all about — only now he is doing it for 20 million people all over America, instead of just for a handful of tourists in Greenwich Village.” - Bruce Farwell, 16’s The Monkees: Here We Are (1967)

Requested: more about Farwell and Hunter. Did some digging and found this:

Carol Hunter — went to Julliard; worked as a session musician with Neil Diamond, Bob Dylan, Richie Havens, Janis Ian and more; recorded a solo album in 1973 (The Next Voice You Hear); passed away in 2018. In an interview for the website Neil Diamond Homepage (2001), Hunter noted, “From the time I was a teenager playing the little clubs in Greenwich Village in New York, I wanted to be part of a musical ensemble rather than a solo artist, and I suppose I was something of a bargain to the artists I worked with, since they got something of a two-for-one with me; guitar player plus background singer. Sometimes it was a little awkward being the only girl in the group, and sometimes the locals mistook this overly dressed-up girl with a lot of makeup hanging around backstage for something other than one of the musicians, which was occasionally hilarious.”

Bruce Farwell — Farwell mentioned in the …Here We Are! article that he “still talk[s] to Peter on the phone and see[s] him when he flies into New York.”

In 2011, Berkshire Fine Arts shared a review for an album (Heart, Heart & Soul): “A s a student at Brown, Bruce Farwell fled campus on the weekends during the early, early, ‘60s to come up to Boston and work the coffeehouse circuit. His nimble fingers and picking style earned him many fans. Dropping out of school he abandoned Boston for Greenwich Village, teamed up for awhile with Peter Tork, sometimes with Carol Hunter, and eventually became a member of The Bitter End Singers. After a hitch with the armed forces, a return to college and decades of work as a psychologist he met and married Renata Decher, with whom he now performs as Gemini.”

[theshadowrealmitself]

I wouldn’t call this “drama”, but for all my nosey peeps not on tiktok, there’s currently a discussion going on there (at least on my fyp) about being a single diner requesting a table vs sitting at the bar

Started cause the original poster made a video essentially saying “take up space”, like if you want a table then get a table, and that was stitched by a different user essentially going “you’re going to need to sit at the bar 😬 so the restaurant can make as much money as possible” in a serious way, not a jokey way ??

And every time that video comes across my fyp, it’s always with a third person stitching it and explaining why they aren’t going to be doing that, I’m gonna list the most said reasons I’ve seen:

• It’s inaccessible for many individuals

• It’s uncomfortable and painful, even if you can technically tolerate the pain better than others, that doesn’t mean you want to

(If you’ve never sat at a bar before, you sit on a stool which is uncomfortably tall, there’s no back support, and you always end up weirdly hunched over the counter, absolutely awful if you’re short with back problems)

• Women especially on my fyp have mentioned that if you’re at the bar, there’s this assumption that you’re willing to be approached in a way you could avoid at a table

• Surrounded by alcohol and intoxicated people, not a fun night to some, absolutely triggering to others

• Honestly just an awkward place to eat, there’s not really the counter space for food and you’re so close to strangers on all sides, practically elbowing them just trying to cut a piece of food

• Most recent one was a person talking about how you don’t win either way, if you ask for a table, apparently some people get upset because they see it as losing tip money, but if you sit at the bar to eat, the bartender gets upset with you because you aren’t ordering drinks, losing them tip money, and again, we should be allowed to exist without breaking ourselves to make as much money as possible for businesses and other people

Anyways, it could just be that one weird person who doesn’t like single people getting a table, but I thought it was interesting to hear all those different reasons people had

(and also if it’s more than one person who’s concerned about that, I think it showcases just how unaccepting of single people our culture is, because as several people pointed out, servers put parties of 2 at 4 seater tables all the time without batting an eye, but if you’re a single party they expect you to sit at the bar and be hit on like they’ve decided you need an intervention on leaving the house alone???)

[jozor-johai]

So do you think Dany and Jon are just two Heads of the Dragon? and if so, who do you think is the third? my money's on Bran as like, the Ice Representative to balance out Dany's fire and Jon's Ice/Fire dealies.

Thank you for this ask, sorry it took ages to respond.

Say that we know (or we think we know) that two "heads" of "the dragon" are Jon and Dany—insofar as we even think we understand what that phrase is supposed to mean (an assumption that I think is worth questioning as well, but that's not a task for now).

Here's what I love about this question—the issue of "who/what is the 'third head'" comes up as a literal question in a religious sense when Arya is talking to the Sailor's Wife in Braavos. There's a statue to the god Trios, and the Sailor's Wife can't tell us the purpose of one of the heads:

Three-headed Trios has that tower with three turrets. The first head devours the dying, and the reborn emerge from the third. I don't know what the middle head's supposed to do.

GRRM is definitely referencing the concept of the "three headed (dragon)" when he invented Trios; the imagery is too central and too specific for that not to be the case. What's fun, of course, is that we're all asking ourselves the same thing—what (or who) is that middle head?

I like your suggestion about Bran. It's a pretty unorthodox idea, because most people assume/expect that the three heads of the "dragon" must be Targaryen or at least Valyrian... but I don't think one needs Valyrian blood to ride a dragon, so as far as I'm concerned Bran is an option. He's a cool idea, too, because of his attachment to the North, the far North, and maybe even the "Ice" concept, like you say. Bran's also a powerful skinchanger—or, in training to be one—and there's not a doubt in my mind we're going to see some dragons get skinchanged. GRRM has been asked about that idea before and he's gleefully dodged answering it.

That would also be interesting because it's worth remembering that Jon is technically not canonically a Targaryen (yet), or even a contender to be a "head of the dragon" (yet). We think we've figured it out (and we probably have) but it's still technically a mystery. In that sense, then, if I was going to lean on the comparison with Trios, I would say: perhaps by now we should have met the first "head" —the "death" head—and we should have met the last head— "rebirth" head—so we should be missing this middle head whose purpose we don't know. However, we think we've figured out that Jon is the marriage of Ice and Fire, so maybe he's the "unknown" middle head—and then Dany is, on one side, the "rebirth" head (of fire?), and we should have met the "death" head (of ice?) already, but we don't know who it might be. Perhaps it's Bran!

If I'm being honest, I personally haven't thought too much about solving the third head of the dragon issue. It's clear to me that some key piece of the puzzle is being intentionally obscured from our view, so it feels like a fool's errand to be confident in solving it at this point. I realize that's a lame answer, but it's the truth—I try to approach these things beginning with how they work in the story and how they work with the symbolism at play, so without being sure how the "three heads" are even supposed to work I haven't tried to solve this mystery.

If there are truly three people who are going to be the "three heads of the dragon," I think the rules of good storytelling limit our options to characters that were introduced in AGOT. If we limit that to POVs—which is not necessarily a valid assumption, but I think is likely—then that's only Tyrion, Bran, Arya, or Sansa. I'm torn on the common "Tyrion Targaryen" theory... I don't really like it, but it would explain why he's included as a POV in AGOT and why he makes the shortlist for possibilities here (among other things). Bran would be a much more interesting option, though.

The thing is, I'm ultimately not convinced the "three heads" are going to work like we expect. Yes, it's said that Aegon, Rhaenys, and Visenya were the "three heads," but who knows if the common understanding of that is true? Plus, the person who presents the idea to Dany of the need for "three heads" to ride the three dragons is Jorah... who I don't think knows shit about dragons. So my mind is wide open when it comes to possible interpretations of the "three heads of the dragon."

[mysteriouslytransparentwitch]

choose your picture (tarot reading)

you chose the number 1 it's archangel uriel 7th chakra

Greek mythology: we are talking about a victory over yourself, you have managed to cross a tunnel. There is a notion of light and shadow, transformation, mutation, better health, well-being, gaining height. Be careful, we are talking about the Trojan horse, there is a lie from a third person or an illusion that sets in, in the future but also a stroke of fate, it is for you to complete your transformation and free yourself from something or someone like Persephone.

with the tarot: we are talking about a desire to regain power over your emotions, to grow emotionally, we are talking about maturity and a new energy, a transformation, a carefree attitude, to believe again that things are possible. There is work to be done on the notion of lack, feeling poor (financial, in love, success) for everything we ask you to focus on your victories, your natural abundance to develop and welcome it. It is a character trait that can come back

-------------------------------------------

you chose the number 7 archangel raphael 4th chakra

we talk about the generosity of the heart, your heart is capable of offering a lot. You are capable of making a lot of effort for the other but there was cheating, abuse, lying in your relationships (love, work, friendship) we are very hurt, mocked here.

We ask ourselves a lot of questions about these events and why?!

it is a lesson, it is learning you are the popess not yet pope. there is work to be done on your past to be able to heal and have this tarot card the sun = renewal. For that you have to leave the past and venture on another path and create new links elsewhere. Beware of withdrawal!! taking the behavior of a hermit that is to say staying in the shadows will not fully grant your wish. That is why like the ace of swords = make the decision to see your past and to confront it and tame it to become a queen of cups.

-------------------------

you chose the number 11 archangel michel 1st chakra

we are talking about selfishness here but in a couple or in a relational bond here we are talking about solitude, learning to be alone and knowing how to do things alone and seeing our decisions take shape (success or failure) to build things ourselves, to gain wisdom over time. It is a transition from one state to another here. Indeed, I hear the word ego see our doubts, our fears but stand up.

this past or this failure or this regret is an opportunity for you to embody strength. There is a very rapid evolution here that can lead you to ask yourself a lot of questions, to feel out of step, it is an opportunity to grow and see more clearly in your life and to build something new

------------------

you chose the number 27 archangel ariel 2nd chakra

be careful we can quickly fall into a euphoric or dreamy emotion by forgetting why you are doing this, do not forget your goals, the why! do not forget your link between your inner fire and your link with the universe, do not be stingy, it is by giving that you receive!!! in the near future, we will guide you on a new path of transformation, are you ready? be "mature" and cut off all forms of non-constructive emotion and put yourself in an energy of solution, step back and observe, move away from certain people if necessary. Enter a new era of balance between your poles advance on your path even if it is not yet illuminated. You are the queen of swords

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

If you were in a long-term relationship with Jungkook, how do think the sex would evolve? How different would the 50th time you fuck be from the first time?

the 50th time would be within two weeks tops, wydm

Actually, the answer is the same, by the 50th time we would know a bit more about each other. In that sense, the first time would be the "worst". But this is Jungkook we're talking about, so his "worst" is probably better than most. He does know good rhythm, heh.

I understand the romanticization of "the first time", because society trains humanity to crave new over old. "Old" carries the negative connotations of stagnant, repetitive, dull, whereas "new" evokes excitement, refreshment, shiny. But fixating on "first time" implies that a person is one-dimensional and can be fully explored within a single experience. Of course, some people are shallow and remain shallow, but most people are complex creatures whose charm comes from their continued learnings making him more interesting. Sex between two people also includes the third perspective of experiencing something together, which is different from facing it alone.

So, yeah, the first time would be fun but perhaps a little clumsy. That's the beauty of introductions; sex for the first time is introduction of body to body, similar to how the first conversation is an introduction of person to person. I know what I like and he knows what he likes (assuming he's not a virgin), but we have much to teach each other about ourselves. The 50th time we would have a better understanding of each other, so then the focus pivots to refinement and discovery as a unit. Learning to be better at what we know, teaching each other about what we've learned, adding / subtracting kinks, innovation and creativity, moving through phases of how we like to do it...

I don't see a point in having sex with someone else if you're only in it for yourself. That's why we have hands. (Or toys. And so on.) Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a better result is the definition of insanity. Besides, the chase is what I crave. Maybe even more than the orgasm itself. I want to find new, creative ways to make someone cum. I want to be the best at their favorite sex act and then become even better than that. I want to test my limits. I want to understand even more than I want to know. What is about that that you like? (That that I like that~) How can I apply it to something else? If you like this, then by association you might also like this. Or want to try that. And so on.

I'm someone that desires and constantly searches for improvement, from my daily life and workflow to topics I'm obsessed interested in. Such as sex. Sex is such a vast, complex topic that is always expanding. I think becoming old is when you begin to accept that you can no longer learn. And I always want to learn. Especially when it comes to Jungkook.

... 's.

Dick.

What?

Anyway.

He's playful. He's adaptable. He seeks new, enjoys challenges, likes aesthetics, take suggestions and constructive criticism as a chance to improve. He's not the type to think he's the best (even if he is) and he wants to be the best. In that sense, I think we would be on the same page when it comes to how we approach sex. So, whether it's the 50th or 7777777th time, the words we both want to hear from each other afterward are, "that was the best sex I've ever had". So we'll probably be constantly working towards that.

Side note, he's gonna make me work out, isn't he? Maybe it's time to pick up yoga. Or pilates. Increased flexibility always helps in the bedroom. ;)